Archive for September, 2009

Posted: September 30, 2009 in Uncategorized

arghhhh…

damn

shut up!!!

^%#^%$&*(@&^^&*(

damnit..

arghhh

my new love

Posted: September 25, 2009 in Uncategorized

nope.. if u are thinking about a person.. haha.. my new love is a THING… yeah sad right.. anyway.. i realized how BB cream make my skin looks, white translucent and flawless.. and now u know the secret of korean actresses.. haha.. ok.. maybe not new for lots of ppl esp. makeup gurus.. but for those reading my blog.. i bet i makeup more then u do.. haha.. anyway.. i decided to try bb cream out.. and its amazing.. i’m just amazed.. although it cant coverup my to-serious-and-no-medicine-can-cure-de hei yan quan.. but.. i still like it.. =D

clubbing at butterfactory is fun.. haha.. first time i can ren crowds.. but i almost pulled out when i saw that massive crowd.. but.. oh well theres always a first hehe

and then i realised how little friends i have.. haha.. weird huh? jumping topic.. but can’t be help.. MY BLOG! =D and i so cant socialize… i know its time for me to learn.. i know how.. but i just dont want to.. thats why i better hope my job doesnt include handling strangers who loves to talk..

and i’m so sure i’m fear of talking on the phone no the phone ringing… and i cant find a scientific name for it.. i’m amazed i survived that one day of call operator… i think if i continued to work… i’ll either get sever heatstroke, dehydration or just die from overworked heart… cause my heart accelerates too much when the phone starts to ring..

lol..

i shiying.. i tell u i dont suffer from bipolar!! haha.. maybe… i… hope… not… =p

tata~…

不安…

Posted: September 20, 2009 in Uncategorized

dunno why.. but felt like using chinese.. as some ppl say.. the original meaning of the word in a certain language is so unique that there is no way of translating.. dunno why.. been feeling rather restless.. maybe its the holidays.. but myself for too long.. it more and more difficult to switch back.. it became more taxing.. maybe i’m growing up.. its no longer something attainable.. prob experience changes ppl.. the more the diff type of emotions stacked up.. the more i feel.. it more difficult it is to 回到原来… hopefully it changes when i go back to sch.. or something like that… been cooped up with negative emotions too much.. should not mention i here… but i just feel too much negativity.. thats why i wanted to work.. =( but haiz.. forget about it…

been having weird dreams again.. ok sometimes.. memories are coming back.. feelings that are meant to be forgotten.. its super irritating.. too much free time on my hand la.. i guess i’m just repressing.. gosh.. i should be over it already…

i really thought of typing something cheerful.. but i guess i just dont want to be fake.. and its more taxing now.. to be cheerful when i’m not.. i have no idea what i’m becoming.. i guess i can go back to cooking.. but.. i dunno.. nails don exactly interest me anymore.. colours are not interesting anymore… guess i need to think of other ways…

headaches are coming.. weird huh? no stress but headache worse…

sometimes i just wanna lock myself up in solitude.. stay in a deserted island.. haiz…

shall go off to sleep… cooking pancakes tmr… hopefully that cheer me up.. gosh i so want to lose weight *chuckle*

thats gonna take reallll long..

thats all.. going off.. bye…

I cant belief myself…

Posted: September 15, 2009 in Uncategorized

i’m like so disappointed with myself la!!! argh!! its like.. miss janice is kind enough to come fetch me to the airport.. but i didnt wake up!!!!!!! i’m so gonna keep my phone on when i sleep now. and i’m gonna get a new alarm clock…

my stupid phone alarm didnt ring… and dont say maybe i slept through it.. cause it really didnt go off..if it rang.. my hp will be on.. and the alarm signal will be off from the screen.. and when i on it.. it was still there… somemore i set 2 leh!!! 2!!!! 2 fricking alarms and both didnt go off.. arghh!!! and my body clock is 1 hr late.. cause i woke up an hour later.. to realise that my alarm clock didnt ring.. can u believe it!!! gosh… its not the first time!!! imagine if i’m working and the same thing happens? gosh!!!! ARGH!!!!

then i was so angry with myself i almost cried.. and my head hurts like i donno what.. gosh.. this like becomes a joke now la..

ARGHHHH!!!!

and R.. i dunno whats wrong with her… her sudden interest to talk to me via sms.. and she frinking sent me an sms at like 6.20am in the morn to say hello.. and another to ask me to not reply after 6.50 coz she will be in sch.. as though i would be awake.. *although i am* but she fricking sent me this kind of sms on the morn when i forgot to wake up at 4.00 AM FOR THE SEND OFF!!! so.. i’m not meeting today.. i so need to calm down…

gosh.. this post is full of rantings… for those who read till here.. and is bored.. sorry.. cause i’m gonna continue.. hehe

anyway.. i think i am like getting more and more impatient.. and losing my persona.. yeah.. i am so losing my persona.. and revealing my self.. and this is not good.. so not good… that why i cant do counselling.. cause.. i’ll suffer a burn out on the first day of work.. probably..

and i’m sick and tired of ppl saying how positive i am.. how i would laugh probs off and havent reach the time of my ultra stressed out period.. and blah blah blah.. maybe.. i just laugh too much in front of ppl.. give ppl advice that seems too positive.. but i’m totally not following them… gosh…

and once i stop laughing too much stop smiling.. i’m fierce and angry.. throwing tantrums… black face.. bu shuang.. attitude.. come on la.. i’m human.. i cant laugh all the time.. cause sometimes smiles and laughter cant bring u through…

random thought: why does every other part time job require minimum 2 mths commitment.. and the rest at some place so far from my house…

u know i got this ‘dream’ job kind.. haha.. something which will never come true.. haha. but i do like babysitting.. haha.. anybody needs a baby sitter? the kind betty does in archie comics.. or ermm.. hoow about someone who read new books and do reviews… maybe watch new movies and do reviews… i just want a work where i can do it alone.. without interacting with strangers.. see i’m a loner.. a complete introvert.. STOP calling me an extravert!!!

gosh. this post is suppper long.. but.. who cares.. this is MY blog.. hehe.. i feel like i’ve got a split personality.. but ahhh.. who cares…

ii also want a cafe in the forest.. =( when can i attain my dream and have something of my own?

au revoir!
bye…
ciao
soyonara..

yup.. i wanted to blog after exams.. then i lazy.. wanted to blog when i wanted to complain.. didnt feel like it.. and now i’m blogging when my stomach is growling.. haha.. gotta wait for my mom to eat together…

i realised.. its very often that i had lots of stuff to say at a moment.. but forget all of it later when i want to blog.. haha.. got lao ren chi dai zhen.. but oh well.. its good to think positive.. so its like bad thoughts.. throw it out.. and forget.. haha.. good~! =D

oh.. i wan to do my nailss… and i just realised how much i am into make up.. maybe i can start a v log.. haha

and i desperately need a job.. i’m like rotting at home.. haha.. i say that every holiday.. lol.. but i really need the extra $$ haah…

gosh.. going off to clean THE yoga mat.. haha..

tata