不安…

Posted: September 20, 2009 in Uncategorized

dunno why.. but felt like using chinese.. as some ppl say.. the original meaning of the word in a certain language is so unique that there is no way of translating.. dunno why.. been feeling rather restless.. maybe its the holidays.. but myself for too long.. it more and more difficult to switch back.. it became more taxing.. maybe i’m growing up.. its no longer something attainable.. prob experience changes ppl.. the more the diff type of emotions stacked up.. the more i feel.. it more difficult it is to 回到原来… hopefully it changes when i go back to sch.. or something like that… been cooped up with negative emotions too much.. should not mention i here… but i just feel too much negativity.. thats why i wanted to work.. =( but haiz.. forget about it…

been having weird dreams again.. ok sometimes.. memories are coming back.. feelings that are meant to be forgotten.. its super irritating.. too much free time on my hand la.. i guess i’m just repressing.. gosh.. i should be over it already…

i really thought of typing something cheerful.. but i guess i just dont want to be fake.. and its more taxing now.. to be cheerful when i’m not.. i have no idea what i’m becoming.. i guess i can go back to cooking.. but.. i dunno.. nails don exactly interest me anymore.. colours are not interesting anymore… guess i need to think of other ways…

headaches are coming.. weird huh? no stress but headache worse…

sometimes i just wanna lock myself up in solitude.. stay in a deserted island.. haiz…

shall go off to sleep… cooking pancakes tmr… hopefully that cheer me up.. gosh i so want to lose weight *chuckle*

thats gonna take reallll long..

thats all.. going off.. bye…

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