Archive for January, 2010

ramblings..

Posted: January 29, 2010 in Uncategorized

first thing first… whats wrong with ipad? i think its super cool… cause i can read e book! =D

anyway.. i wanted to come her to emo again.. cause i’m really tired… i think tired is not sufficient to describe it… should be exhausted moving towards despair… because of life.

I seem to become like this as i carry on in this course.. thats why i keep questioning myself… am i in the right course? it seams that i am… i dunno… self exploration makes me… sad.. yes i know i learn more about myself.. i realise more about my personality… i figure out a lot.. but are these good? U find whatever weakness u didnt know u had before… then u see that your strengths are… well.. not there.. i dunno how to describe.. like as if.. it didnt matter much.. it didnt contribute much… i always thought that my strengths will help me out in life… but then i keep thinking.. am i thinking too happily every after? too fantasy? thats why i kinda stop chick flicks.. cause… life often dont go that way… never mind if it is true that love is in us.. but.. i just cant believe anymore.. and this is very bad… to question love.. when you havent experience it before…

i just have no idea why we should self explore… because.. with self exploration, yes you understand yourself more.. but.. what about comfort… to me, explorations seems to take away whatever comfort i have… i beginning to dislike myself as a person.. not yet to the hate.. but just dislike… i dont understand why i am like that anymore… its like.. i’ve changed…

people change with time and experience.. i know i know… but i dont think these changes are positive.. why am i having a burn out even before i start? why i am… questioning myself? i havent even found myself.. why do people say they know me… are what you see always what it is? or are there more?

i have no idea anymore… some things or some questions are better left unanswered…

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affected…

Posted: January 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

i guess quite a few of us were affected by what mr. tan had said… i dunno bout others.. but i am..

i guess what he said is right, we should take what we have and make the most out of it.. and not lament on what we dont have and waste whatever opportunity we have…

sometimes thing are not meant to be yours, it not ment to be… but when its meant to be, it yours…

i guess i just have to think on a lighter note… and look at the bright side of life… maybe the sch will let me rent a hostel… then i can stay near sch.. and forget about travelling to and fro home to sch.. lol..

i am so stuck on soap notes… i think glen would be super happy.. cause i hate counseling!!! he got his goal!!! lol

maybe i too should slow down and take a loot around me, of my life. Why am i doing this? i always question myself but i cant seem to find the right reasons… how can i convince people when i cannot convince myself?

how can i stay positive when i am not happy myself?

how can others believe in me when i cannot believe myself?

i guess i should take thing in stride… take things as it goes… i’m no longer a kid, and is responsible for my own actions… what crap…

i so need a BIG break…

maybe flying around is not so bad.. but i need to rid my fears of humans first…

oh whatever.. its 12:56… i need to do work…

and there goes the sianz…

but at least i have the joy of ponning class today.. lol

AHHHHHH!!!

freaking out… i dont like interview and what kind of interview need you to do a presentation when i dunno what to present about? shall ignore that stupid mail first… why did i open it??? why why why???

bye

attachment

Posted: January 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

sian la… 5.30 wake up!!!! =( tio DID… i don think its bad.. but 5:30 wake up.. and anyone realise that during the holidays there is no shuttle bus? means i have to take the fricking mrt to sch… IN THE MORNING!!!!!!!! =(

and i think when i become ji dong my eyes will become teary.. when i quarrel with ppl, my eyes will become teary too.. and just now i too ji dong.. same thing happen then mr. tan ask me i crying ah? DAMN MALU CAN???

haiz.. but 5.30…

hopefully the allowance is good… $ is my motivation now… hehe..

and hopefully i can keep long nails la… super super hope i can keep long nails la… PLS PLS PLS!!!!

sianz… off to do work… bye…

beginning of my jian fei ji hua

Posted: January 23, 2010 in Uncategorized

haha.. i am really like trying ALL methods to slim down…

i am like wrapped up everywhere… i really hope this method works… =)

my tummy looks a little smaller now.. but sadly only at night.. lol…

i shall persevere… and my mom still wants me to try the air stewardess job.. haha.. provided that i lose weight…

afraid for attachmet result.. and i haven do my soap notes.. shall do it tmr..today do research and sleep .. hehehe..

bye~!

slackin

Posted: January 19, 2010 in Uncategorized

hey.. i’m supposed to be doing my legal essay… shall finish by thurs.. hopefully!!! wrong… wed night.. which is tmr night… its highly impossible… maybe do recording quick quick?? nono… impossible arghhhhhhh

really sian… can i escape… i went too look for ranches online… and out came florida…

gosh…

i hope someone can bring me away!!!!!

siannnnnnnnn!!!!

=(

i just dunno why i got this very emo feeling… i think my mood swing is getting terrible… ahhhh!!!! so wish for time to end…

or.. go back to the past.. where i dont have to care about anything in the world… where i never learn so much, not know so much… so i wont think too much.. or hurt too much…

i’m getting tired of life…

is there a ranch out there far far away for me to go…

i know its selfish of me to want to escape… i just wanna run far far away…

for me avoidance is bliss…

hopefully i can make this escape sooner…

1 down and still many to go…

Posted: January 15, 2010 in Uncategorized

its really a miracle that i’m blogging so frequently… lol

finished video… 1 down… but my to-do list still stays long…

i have no idea why but there seems to be no motivation for me anymore… but fear and dread…

i tire out more easily… its not like before… i never once did see a whole list of jobs available for me and fear instead of excited to work… i guess i’m not a people person…

its tiring to live up to expectations… i really wonder why i took up this course…

i’m like totally lost now…

who can help me? can i still be helped?