ramblings..

Posted: January 29, 2010 in Uncategorized

first thing first… whats wrong with ipad? i think its super cool… cause i can read e book! =D

anyway.. i wanted to come her to emo again.. cause i’m really tired… i think tired is not sufficient to describe it… should be exhausted moving towards despair… because of life.

I seem to become like this as i carry on in this course.. thats why i keep questioning myself… am i in the right course? it seams that i am… i dunno… self exploration makes me… sad.. yes i know i learn more about myself.. i realise more about my personality… i figure out a lot.. but are these good? U find whatever weakness u didnt know u had before… then u see that your strengths are… well.. not there.. i dunno how to describe.. like as if.. it didnt matter much.. it didnt contribute much… i always thought that my strengths will help me out in life… but then i keep thinking.. am i thinking too happily every after? too fantasy? thats why i kinda stop chick flicks.. cause… life often dont go that way… never mind if it is true that love is in us.. but.. i just cant believe anymore.. and this is very bad… to question love.. when you havent experience it before…

i just have no idea why we should self explore… because.. with self exploration, yes you understand yourself more.. but.. what about comfort… to me, explorations seems to take away whatever comfort i have… i beginning to dislike myself as a person.. not yet to the hate.. but just dislike… i dont understand why i am like that anymore… its like.. i’ve changed…

people change with time and experience.. i know i know… but i dont think these changes are positive.. why am i having a burn out even before i start? why i am… questioning myself? i havent even found myself.. why do people say they know me… are what you see always what it is? or are there more?

i have no idea anymore… some things or some questions are better left unanswered…

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