Archive for July, 2010

thinking…

Posted: July 30, 2010 in Uncategorized

as i sit alone in the dark workshop.. it suddenly came to me… what would have happened if i do not have friends with me?

i guess…

i wont be who i am today…

alone + have to do FYP + rainy days = time to emo…

haha

no choice…

ps: i think i got over it… or maybe just heck care already… too tired to keep thinking… officially.. friend nia… i think i’ll be more comfortable this way ba… =D 突然想通了… 就把喜欢换成喜欢朋友的那种感觉吧。 这样应该对大家都比较好。 想通了的感觉好像还不错。突然好像胸前的那块大石头不见了。有好轻松的感觉哦!这次因该是结束了吧。应该是放下了=)

ok.. shall go do work now le!!! Jia You Jia You!!!! =D
ps part 2: i wan my make up palettes and brushes!!! =(

super not productive sunday

Posted: July 18, 2010 in Uncategorized

wanted to blog.. but dropped by sy’s blog… and saw that she had a productive sunday.. but me? haiz.. dont talk about it.. did A LOT of things but none of them gotta do with work.. totally sianz… haha..

just had a though.. mummy was saying in the afternoon that she scared i jia bu chu qu.. haha.. then my bro say how can that be…

the me who thought of nothing but marrying my dream prince.. stay in castle like house, have someone to drive me around in pretty cars.. and have a lot of money no need work and everything

VS.

the me now who thinks that not marrying is no big deal… i can earn my own money to do all the above… and planning my future career.. trying to live my dream…

how on earth did i change so much?

hahahahahahhahhahhahahhha

oh well…

cant help it…

i realised that i may look as if my self esteem is super high… but in actual fact… its so low that i’m surprised too! hahaha…

but i really think no one would want me… whats wrong with being alone?

hopefully dont become an old hag who is super irritating.. because i lack the nourishment of love… hahahahhahahaha…

only can xian mu ppl nia… the “he” in my life is just not here yet… oh well.. slowly wait ba… =p

Posted: July 5, 2010 in Uncategorized

感触深了。。。 不知道为什么,可能应为时间多了些。。。 应该do work one… 但是,还是没心情。。。

突然想起, 不是我的就不是我的,什么都不能强求。

我现在是在一个彻底give up 的状态。 什么都不想要,什么都不想管,快快地把书念完, 实现我的梦想。。。 一个人也不错。。。

应该觉得我很傻吧?只总年级就开始绝望了。。。 总觉得没有什么的。可是心里多么希望能有像故事书那样的爱情。。。 真是想太多了。。。

多么想跑下一切逃到一个没人认识的地方,从新开始。。。 一个没有人的地方。 一个不需要向任何人报告,不需要管那个人在想什么的地方。

sometimes being alone… isnt it the best?

gosh.. in one of my moods again..

lets hope this passes fast..

comfort food doesnt work anymore…

so i guess… i’m on my own again…

i know…

Posted: July 4, 2010 in Uncategorized

i know i’m stressed when nothing much cheers me up..
i know i’m stressed when every little things makes me mad…
i know i’m stressed when i dread receiving emails…

and now i know it cause i seriously dread monday coming…

how i wish there is no fyp..

oh well..

go back to work work work…

give up…

Posted: July 3, 2010 in Uncategorized

ya.. i think i gave up talking to my mom already… kinda tired when whenever u talk, u get ignored… i tried it out today again.. her attention just wont be on me when we talk outside… i was talking to her.. but her line of vision was somewhere else… then i tried.. i just stopped talking… u know u will always get the ” i’m listening, carry on” response when u suddenly stop in the middle of your sentence? ya.. i totally didnt have that today… i stopped and i dont even think my mom realised… i wonder why she can listen to others but never listen to me…

i’ll just give up… shall not treat it as a big deal anymore… simpler this way isnt it? easier for me isnt it? just treat it that my mom can never focus on 1 thing only at one go… even if talking to her.. she will be focusing on my face then the conversation.. cutting in with something entirely out of topic… i’m tired of that already… forget it.. i’ll just accept the fact…