Protected: 老毛病…

Posted: June 1, 2014 in Uncategorized

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Ramblings

Posted: March 4, 2014 in Uncategorized

Sometimes… I wonder… Would I be here if I were a guy… Will I still be in Singapore doing what I’m doing now if I’m a guy?

I probably will travel wont I? Travel and work where ever i want to… Sigh.. It will never happen to me right? Just because I am female..

忐忑

Posted: January 22, 2014 in Uncategorized

明天要开学了。。。 我现在是个大学生了。。。

本以为心里已准备好了。。。 可是就是还有很多的忐忑和不安。。。 一切会顺利吗?

 

I hope everything will be alright.

 

 

Random quote: 疼会疼。 但疼证明我存在。疼会好的, 会过的。

Drink drank emo…

Posted: September 6, 2013 in Uncategorized

It seems that every time after drinking.. I’ll be so much more emo..

It’s is the time I think of so near yet is far…

And all the what ifs and why not… And the tendency to want participate in risk taking behaviors…

Not a good thing.. But a great way to train my self control…

Been thinking… Is it the way I behave around guys that is different… Or is it just me wanting to get attention? Kinda find myself getting despo… Not a good sign… Lol…

I still remember some one asked me this before… ‘Ur sis and bro getting married one after another. Won’t u feel panicky or pressured to get married too?’

I said no outright… But thinking back.. I don’t need to get married.. At least for now.. But it would be nice to be in a relationship… It’s not about the marriage.. But more about the relationship…

When is it my turn?

Crawling

Posted: July 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

It seems that once i start to nua, its difficult to pick myself up again…

It seems that i really cannot multi task because once i have something to do i need to finish it before i have the feel to do other thing…

 

sigh…

 

sloth is my ultimate enemy.

 

it seems that this period of staying stagnant is returning me to that unsure, uneasy, no confidence, irritable self…

I need to pick myself up soon…

 

soon…

 

sigh…

 

The end…

Posted: May 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

Actually didnt intended to blog… but for some reasons.. i came here…

tmr… or rather today marks the last day of work… but will it mark the last day of my suffering.. im still wondering since i have 4th june meet up…

 

guess my feelings are all mixed up… happy to finally leave… but yet feel that little tinge of emptiness…

 

now i can only be unsure of my future… i need to rest, recover.. and think…

 

hopefully things can get better…

 

but seriously… having to grow up is such a pain in the ass… sigh…

 

bye~

Brink…

Posted: April 24, 2013 in Uncategorized

Is she really the cause? Why is it always that when u treat someone wholeheartedly, it gets twisted and turned into something totally negative?

I’m not dishing for compliments but sometimes I just need some assurance… It’s as simple as that… Don’t make me into someone I’m not…

When u are hated… Others concern would become like pity… I guess this is the lowest period I can get… It seems that time and again, I will be thrown into a period of lowest that is lower then my previous lowest moment… Life is vicious isn’t it?

Sometimes to care and have the energy to carry on living is difficult…

It’s always when there is a lot of ppl around me when I feel the most lonely… Escaping into a world I create myself is so much more fun and enjoyable… But unfortunately… I’m too tired mentally and physically to create a world to contain me…. It’s became a chore to just exist… Can’t ppl just accept someone for who they are.. Is all the hate and jealousy necessary…

Am I really a threat to ppl or am I just a nuisance… I find that I’m just useless… What is so good about me… Seriously… I’m just like the others… Wrong.. Maybe I’m not even better than others…

It’s damn tiring to anticipate ppl talking about u whenever something happen.. It’s not that I want it.. Do u think I have the control over these things… It’s never me but why is all the fault on me… Am I just so easy to blame? Am I ?

Would I need to encounter that throughout my life?

Really?

I’m tired…

Someone bring me away from all these…